For those of you who know me, either personally or via web communications, you're aware that I've spread myself quite thin all over the internet. I've got my hands in just about every money making opportunity out there and I'm trying to build a crazy business out of writing, drawing, marketing, selling, designing and several other things. Now I suddenly feel overwhelmed and confused.
The problem is, I don't know what my "calling" is. I don't know what I was put on this earth to do. I've got the uncanny ability to learn how to do just about anything rather quickly. I've never found anything that I wanted to do that I couldn't learn how to. With that said, now that I'm dabbling in nearly 20 different areas, how do I know where my talent is and which area I should really be focusing on? Who answers those kinds of questions anyway? Somewhere along the way I missed the line where they were handing out life purposes. And left to my own devices, I get easily distracted and bounce from one idea to the next.
I've always loved hair and makeup, so I decided I wanted to be an Avon lady. Trouble there is that I don't have the time or money that it takes to really grow my Avon business. Not to mention that the real cash comes from leadership and I'm not exactly the best candidate to be organizing and running a team.
I play guitar, sing and write songs. I was the girl who flunked classes and skipped school because you don't need an education to rock! I honestly thought I would grow up to be lead guitarist in some kick ass band. But now I'm a mother who isn't quite as awesome as she was back in the day and there's no one in hell who'd want me in their band. LOL! And even if they did, it won't exactly put food on the table.
I really like to write and got sort of excited over the prospect of being a freelance internet writer. It seemed like a nice idea anyway. But it's been much more difficult that I thought to get readers to my blog. My main income comes from how to articles. But after a while that gets stale. I've been dry recently. It's hard to come up with fresh ideas that conform to a strict how to format.
I design clothes on Zazzle. I REALLY like Zazzle. But it's really hard to get your merchandise noticed among the billions of others. And so far, I don't really think it's something that will ever pay the bills for me. Yes, you can make money with Zazzle, but I've yet to see if you can make any substantial income with it.
I feel empty and unguided. I wish I just knew what I was meant to do. I wish I was one of those people who felt they had a calling in life. The only thing I've ever felt that strongly about was music and God knows how ridiculous that dream is. Why couldn't I have wanted to be something more practical and obtainable? Now I'm a stay at home mom struggling to squeeze every dime out of the computer that I can and ultimately feeling like a failure at the end of the day.
I've met a lot of wonderful people online along the way. And everyone has had such nice things to say to me. I love all of you guys! But I secretly wish I was more like you. For most of you, you are writers or entrepreneurs. You have a dream, goals and are working your butts off to be successful. I'm just a girl wearing too many hats. I'm well aware how ridiculous I look, but I'm too indecisive to choose just one.